Critique of Weldon’s “Thirteen of These Thirteen of These Thirteen of These”

As the title suggests, Weldon’s piece consists of thirteen titled sections with varying lengths, written in the style of Gertrude Stein.  While there is no obvious plot or human characters (besides the first person I in “A Few Different Ones”), experimentation with language and syntax is very apparent.  Articles and prepositions are sometimes included where the reader would expect them, but are often omitted to play with such expectations.  Likewise, phrases are repeated in three’s in the middle of sentences before the syntactical units veer off in different directions.  Often a sentence will read as though it was originally three, and the writer simply cut out punctuation and select words.  The bizarre use of diction, though confusing, is quite entertaining to read and the piece presents itself as a collection of prose poems.  The reoccurrence of “Sandwich” is a playful break (I accidentally wrote bread first) in the attempt to undermine the conventions of language.

Critique of Stewart’s “Desafortunado”

Though the adjective Desafortunado (unfortunate) is used specifically in reference to the albino horse, it can be applied to every element and character of the story, including the small, stagnant town of Socorro.  Starting with the aftermath and meandering through every moment beforehand, the story traces the events involved with the accidental murder of Herman and the euthanization of a half-blind albino ex-race horse named Cheyenne. 

Stewart experiments with time and personification.  He abandons sequential chronology like Quentin Tarantino when arranging scenes and ascribes emotions and ambitions (or lack there of) to items as inconsequential as tumble weeds.  Both devices prove successful and make for an interesting read.  Despite the back and forth plot motion, the order of events can be reasonably deciphered with close attention to scene details and a little rereading.  There are a few noticeable slips in time, such as sunset occurring when it should be sunrise, but the slight errors do not hinder the story.

Critique of Gabrielle’s “How to Make Friends”

“How to Make Friends” is exactly what the title makes it out to be: a step by step instructional manual for how to gain a companion.  The piece is more technical than the average self-help book and is experimental in its use of diagrams and the overall format of a manual.  I like the thorough breakdown of every aspect of friendship and the unexpected use of casual terms such as “stalkerish”.  While it is an interesting piece, it lacks any elements of a story.  Perhaps the relation of two characters, whether conflicted or successful, could be interspersed throughout the text as a recurring example.  This would provide an underlying narrative in the piece and make it read more like a piece of experimental fiction.

Critique of Elle’s “Here Lies Love”

The title mimics an epitaph and suggests that the piece will one way or another deal with the death of love.  The story is divided into sections by roman numerals, which fit the poetic tone of the piece as though they are separating prose stanzas.  Though I read the first couple of sentences of part II like lyrics to a Cake song, I like the elegant and ambiguous language of the overall piece.  I also like how the characters and other scene elements are reduced to geometric shapes, colors, and other sensory details.  While the ambiguity does benefit the story, I am not sure what to make of the overarching conflict with Katherine, who is apparently the character as the one before with the “evil inside of her.”  I cannot tell if she is now independent of her lover or a tumor, the latter of which would be supported by the title and other details.  Some aspects of the story could be made clearer, but the piece is very well composed.

Critique of Laurel’s “My best friend is going to prison”

The story, through a variation of chronologies, traces the development of the narrator’s friendship with an individual who has recently been arrested for possession, though the charges are apparently debatable.  It offers a wide range of experiments with text, including enjambed lines leading into a dictionary definition, a newspaper article, a single expletive with its own page, text messages and journal entries interrupted by sequential phrases in caps, prison visitation reviews, and instructions for sending mail to inmates.  The rapid change in format successfully reflects the narrator’s anxious uncertainty about how to handle the friend’s fate, but the shift is too drastic to follow at times, especially with the reverse chronology on the second page.  I did enjoy how the piece  forced me to flip between the pages to figure out what was going on, but the ambiguity could be a little more subtle.  Still, this is an interesting piece and is worthy of expanding.

Critique of Ashley’s “Application for Employment”

At first the piece seems to be an ordinary barista application for a 16-year-old Pendledton Roberts, but as soon as it is revealed that the applicant has an impairment that would interfere with her to perform, the experimentation begins.  The narration, told from Pendleton’s point of view in the response boxes, clearly demonstrates that the applicant is emotionally unstable and hints to her hiatus from school.  The explanation for her impairment is withheld until the final page, where the reader realizes that the former high school student experienced a breakdown after losing her position in the student body government, attempted suicide in the art room, and was subsequently asked to leave school.  Though she will likely not get the position, Pendleton’s job application makes for a great experiment with text.  The story, however, only covers a small portion of the whole text, so it may be beneficial to spread it across several applications to the same establishment.  This would allow for more narration and reinforce Pendleton’s instability.