At first I thought the mouse was an inconsequential aspect
of the story, but after closer reading (with the help of the class) I realized
that it was used as the inciting incident that brought the memory book into the
plot. It seems unlikely that an old woman
could cause the entire house to shake by stomping on the cellar floor, but I
like how you attributed such significance to a little critter that would
otherwise be seen as a pest. Without it,
there wouldn’t have been a story.
Simile and repetition are used invariably throughout. Their effect is quite clever at times, but
the occurrence of simile becomes a little excessive and the repeated phrases do
not come up frequently enough to have any major contribution to the plot or
impact on the reader.
There were a couple instances of ambiguity in the story, particularly the old woman’s movement through the cellar and the way she fell from the window. I think it would also help to investigate the old woman’s past, giving the reader more information concerning how she was traumatized by her childhood and her father, and how she came to lock herself in a cellar. You might give her a name, too. The story will be easier to follow if you clear up these elements
No comments:
Post a Comment